Divorce and Children

Divorce is not only separation of husband and wife but it also separates children from their parents. Children who grow up with single parents – mostly created due to divorce, suffers a lot of psychological problems. It has been observed that one third of the children come out unharmed after divorced. Another one third functions satisfactorily but experience a lot of difficulties. It is sad to know that another one third just remain upset with their life. They experience difficulties and hurdles in every point of their life. The development process of their life becomes very hard and complicated.

Children may differ in short term effects of divorce but they share many common features of long term effects of divorce of their parents. Pre-school children with egocentric, egoistic and insensitive reasons blame themselves for the separation of their parents and they also take it as personal rejection. It can also affects sleep, diet, participation in sports and games which ultimately results in lack of confidence in communication and degrading oneself with no reason.

School going children suffers from loyalty conflicts. They usually fantasize about their parents getting back together. This can cause decline in academic performance or psychosomatic symptoms Participating in outside activities can help to get away from the tensions at home and many children seeks this solution.

Due to break down of marriage, men and women both often experience a diminished capacity to parent.  They do not communicate much with their children. They give them very less time. They provide them less discipline and become less sensitive towards them. It has been said that mothers become more coercive and fathers become more lax and indulgent. Both of them provide less affection to their children. These actions of parents result in disobedience attitude of children and parents-child relationship may suffer with a lot of behavior problems.

Most of the researches show that boys are more vulnerable and helpless than girls to divorce related stress and recovers more slowly. The reason is that it is difficult to live with opposite sex than same sex and because the custodial parent is often the mother, boys is exposed to this situation more often. Another perspective is that girls are likely to be just as troubled by divorce as boys are, but demonstrate their feelings in a manner that is more appropriate to their sex role, namely by being anxious, withdrawn or very well behaved (Kaslow and Schwartz p.164).

Divorce has long lasting psychological effects on children which turn out to be shown with time and can also be permanent. Children of the divorce parents have vivid and clear memory regarding separation of their parents. These details are engraved permanently in their brain even more than any experience of their lives.

Many researches show that academic achievements of the children of divorced parents are at disadvantages. Many academic depicts are found among them, lagging behind children from different families.

According to parent’s children's reports, court and school records disruptive actions occur more frequently among children of divorce than other groups, including intact families. This behavior can be defined as lying, fighting with no reasons and maltreatment with other children, teasing, cheating, stealing, and running away.

Social and emotional functioning includes communication with peers, emotional states of fear, anxiety, depression, despair and capacity to cope with stress or frustration. The majority of studies show the social-emotional functioning of children of divorce is less than intact families.

These problems can leave life time effect on the lives of children which have adverse effect on society as well. Divorced parents should develop friendly relation with their children. They should maintain regular communication with each other and control their anger towards them. The parents should never ask the children to choose between them. Children also need their own time to mourn the death of their mother and fathers marriage, just as much as their parents need to. Both of parents should meet up on regular basis. In schools teachers should not represent negative attitude towards divorce. They should not demean children whose parents are separated nor shown them piety.

Real Face behind Reflection

Superior class of our society is representing bad image in front of media with very open heart. In our daily talk shows we can see people daily fighting, insulting and degrading each other just for lust of power. They allege on each other and use abusive language just in order to show that they are right. Our MNAs and MPAs are openly discussing their personal matters in front of media and by humiliating each other by which they just target general public to get their sympathy. But no one can ever understand why our so-called reputed class politicians are so illiterate and manner less and most important thing is they have no-tolerance. They can’t bear anything of their competitors in front of their eye and to make them disappear they are ready to go beyond any limits.

If we take the case of Punjab law Minister saying that “the utility of the Governor of the Province was as good as Toilet Paper after passage of 18^th Amendment.” Whatever the provocation, this is just very bad taste and childish attitude of such so called reputed and well educated person of our state.  The very governor and Rana Sanaullah keep aiming for one another can put streets urchins to Shame. Something that really irks me about our talk show is that they of being debates through which viewers become informed and then form their own opinions in which there is an abject lack of the decorum.

 

Nobody listen listens to anyone and the viewers end up having a poor opinion of both sides having to resort to the sleeping pills to sleep because of the prevailing choice of political leadership. Whenever we are in like in real life is reflected in our talk show. No Patients, no tolerance, no forehead what we do have in plenty are fake degrees, fake piety, fake morals with no self respect and irresistible urge to jump the line, wherever it may b. These daily diversions in the political arena take away attention from our real and burning issues.

As in normally the case in such public and line conversation on the electronic media the slip up from Fauzia Wahab in her defense of the president’s immunity was amazing to say the least! That the Khalifas of Islam were accountable to courts because they don’t have constitution. There is a quotable quote for times like these and it goes “please ensue mind is engaged before putting mouth in gear.”

Sometime as a viewer one is caught so off guard by the absurdity of a statement one hear from people that you have to call someone to cross check if what you heard is actually said Fauzia Wahab’s latest faux pass definitely fell into this category.

Another unintentional gaff I found ticklish was  when Siddiqui Farark was holding forth on a channel just a few day before the federal Law Minister was to appear in supreme court. The person asked him his opinion about Babar Awan. “ He is a Professional Liar” came the answer. I did stop in my tracks at his candidness but when he repeated the words I realized that he was saying “ Lawyer” in very urdu accent which came out as a liar.

All the relief that the politicians are capable of giving us it seems, is merely comical. No concrete help seems to be forth- coming in the budgets that is frightfully, just around the corner and there is no measures in the pipeline to counter the day-to-day issue of the daily grind for the common man. The pressure just keep mounting and life continues to be challenge for citizen while the leadership of different  political parties cross swords and mend  fences at will. None of us, on the outside quite understand who the ally of whom really and whether it is for real and just for act.

In our democratic system no one is answerable to anyone. Politicians are busy with politics that how to grab power from one and other, how to snatch rights from general public, how to influence public to commit suicide ( the only way they seek to shut mouth of people who rise their voice against inflation) and if media tries inquire or interrogate these politician, they start making lame excuses and in end when they see no way to get out from problems, the only solution they left with is to scream high, fancying that it might rupture eardrum of host and audience as well. But time has been changed. People are now become immure of these activities and they can just hope that Allah bless them.

 

Fake degrees people with fake morals are just busy in planning some new ways to deceive public. I can’t even imagine how a person can live without his self respect. It was well said in past that screaming lies aloud power to make it truth which has been well used by our politicians now-a- days. Our politicians are openly saying that “Corruption is our right” and still no one is here to question them about their illegal morals and use of power in states. In our parliament we can see our ‘WOMEN POLITICIANS” abusing each other and in our daily talk shows everyone is fighting, screaming which I never get to understand to proof what they are humiliating each other.

Talk shows become a reason of entertainment for many persons to relish themselves but only those persons who love to see cat and dog fights. Our talk shows end with no solution of any problem because no one is willing to resolve issue with peace. The real purpose of talk shows which was to give recommendations and solutions has been ended because of reason that no one listen to anyone. Who is need to changed? Many of the people says media get publicity because of these exchanges of words. In the end only media people have to answer about situation to public even if they are doing their duties only when they fulfill it. time should be changed and system should get up.

Why Pakistani are so emotional

Real Pakistan people are emotional because they had sacrifice so much and struggle hard to get our homeland. They worked with Mr. Jinnah just for the sake that their next generation can eat fruit grown on their own home land. They worked day and night and fully know the importance of this land. In order to save their homeland, they are willing to go beyond any limits. This is primary reason they get sentimental when any politician talk about the development and flourish of Pakistan

The entire people still wants to see each other happy. For this purpose they are even willing to with stand with each other in any condition. Our politicians and so-called media people easily says that wrong decision was made by public because we have illiterate people and they made emotionally decision which with time seems to prove wrong. But there is another side of the mirror in which these with excused “emotional-fool” people got deceived. They got fake promises from fake degrees holders. Every leader promise them to give “ Food, shelter and clothes” which is their basic requirement but these politician are even unable to give it to them which consequently create horrible situation for them, result in increase of suicide rate and still screams are PAKISTAN PEOPLE ARE EMOTIONAL.

They are emotional because they know importance of their land, they are emotional because they wants to develop their land, they are emotional because they want to change their living conditions, they are emotional because they don’t want their grand- children committing suicides as other had did it. These people are actually fighting a sentimental – war with their own people and for their people.

A farmer works from crack of dawn till dust just with intentions that their work will provide this state with food. They intend development of Pakistan just for the people who they don’t know but still they are emotionally attach with them. There is a bond of brotherhood which let them think emotionally. This what we call our culture but for dry and scare people who has just intentions to break these bond so much and more money can earn, call these people as ‘ emotional fool’ but actually they are not.

I would like to conclude this by this statement that Pakistani is thirsty. They want to see everyone happy. Simile can be seen on their face after winning single cricket match even if they had defeated war. They want happiness in their state. They want to see their next generation developed. 

New Trends in Music

Her fingers strum the fine strings of the sitar….. His hands glided gently; softly over the piano keys…..the slow paced, rhythmic music begins to fade away. And as the clock ticked away, her fingers fiddled recklessly with the guitar….His hands pounded relentlessly at the drums. This is just a taste of the nouvelle vague in music that Generation Y has experienced. Music has been revolutionized throughout the decades.

With popular culture came a new genre of music, at first like the side dish that no one really wants, but as more people grow fond of the catchy, fresh tunes played on radios it turns into the main course.  Covering a variety of experimental music that no one has ever listened to, it creates an appealing act of doing something new. Focusing more on the rhythm of the beats rather than of the harmony, it naturally has a fast paced quality.

Rhythm and Blues made big waves when artists like Usher, Mariah Carey and Beyonce Knowles made music that broke all previous records. Not far behind is it’s distant cousin; Hip Hop- take a listen to Eminem, Missy Elliot, 50 Cent, Jay –Z to feel the raw, unsullied emotions rallied at you accompanied by beat boxed notes and trumpets. Bhangra music too joined the bandwagon as artists like Punjabi MC, Bombay Rockers and Rishi Rich Project emerged.

 Since, it is an ‘Age of the Synthetic’, Sync Pop made their way to the main stream along with Electronica, Club, Techno, Trance and Dance genres. Electrifying beats, synthesized trumpet tunes and synchronized tempo of enigmatic intervals makes this genre a completely ethereal experience. Artists like Depeche Mode, Daft Punk, Dj Tiesto and B.T along with a handful others have managed to carve a corner for themselves in the music industry cluttered by pop artists.

Pop acts like Lady Gaga, Pussycat Dolls, Taylor Swift, The Jonas Brothers, and The Click Five have all ventured into the safest route of the futuristic sound in music. Making use of almost every instrument that jingles, rattles or just goes boom, boom, Pop music is the most widely heard genre in  the world today.

Not following behind is the sound of revolution and rebellion: Rock music. Crashing guitar riffs, angry drum beats and head banging; these are the components that define it the best. The post- punk genre, alternative rock, indie rock and psychedelic all remain dominant through the persistent efforts of artists like The Killers, Linkin Park, Lacuna Coil, Arctic Monkeys and Fall Out Boys among many others stormed onto the music stage.

This is the new age, this is the new trend. But the clock is still ticking, no?

Why girls are passionate for pink ?

Pink walls, pink bed sheet, pink pillows, pink clothes, pink shoes, pink mobile, pink laptops, pink n pinky all around. Pink has got the magnetic forces which attracts girls toward it. Girls decorate their room with pink theme everywhere. Pink , known as sign of girls, now become symbol for cuteness, sweetness , love, health, breast cancer awareness fairness , Easter, beauty and glamour as well. Baby pink in room and deep pink clothes, purple pink mobile and hot pink bags shows variety of trends collected by many girls around. Pink is being chosen from casual wearing dress to bridal dress. Pink brings out sentiments from the inside of girls.

From fairy tales to teddy bear, perfumes to jewellery, handbags to foot wears, fragrance of pink can be felt everywhere in air around girls. Whether to choose Barbie Bridle Costume or human female wedding dress, pink is being more fashionable. From Lip gloss to earring, pink has maintained its status very well. Pink nails with French manicure is something which I call slang and awesome. It is a perceivable fact that how pink has become so much important part of women’s life. Why she is being so attracted by this color so much. Being a girl I am also unable to answer these questions. Red, Black, purple, white are regular colors are liked by most of the girls but these colors always have pink as their common partner.

what is people actually looking for?

Men, an unbelievable and most incurable creature, always consider himself brilliant but Allah has given him power of doing everything stupid n so stupidly that he always get command over stupid act of other men who has commanded over some other brilliantly stupid men and so on.. I actually wonder what they actually want from life. Either they want to do something good or  bad, why there is presence of stupidity material in it. Sometimes I think Allah only knows the secret of men heart. If we ask any men the secret between red walls of women heart, they answer nonsensical laughable and ludicrous " Women have no Heart " Is't possible? How can a person live without heart ? On the other hand, men also used to claim that Women are over EMOTIONAL AND SENTIMENTAL .. How can they justify both quotation at same time. they always need everything perfect but they cant do any thing perfect. I never understand men psychology what actually they are looking for? what makes them think so differently stupid? All i can say is " they are just unbelievable and incurable". 

hey